When they left

I didn't say Goodbye

I couldn’t sleep deeply last night and managed a couple of brief naps at most. My body was simply ‘alert’ all through the night. I recognised it was my body knowing something my conscious mind did not. Confident I would figure it out in the morning, having not allowed myself to grab my phone through the night, I would rearrange my aching body beneath the layers of blankets and wait for time to pass. The moment I saw the date glowing on the phone screen when I went to answer an early morning message, it made sense. Ten years seems too long already.

Tasty Cola Beverage_Finn

August is full of anniversaries of farewelling people who had found their way to the end sooner than those of us left behind were easily ready to accept. I don’t begrudge them for it. There is no anger. Instead, my heart aches for the pain and loneliness I suspect they felt in those last moments, perhaps days and weeks and months. There is so much pain and invisibility being held in people who we walk by and sit next to. 

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